I just finished your book “spiritual perversion” and felt compelled to write to you.
I find it quite miraculous that a human being could ever find the strength to provide a testimony of such depths of honesty. You are my hero.
I’ve spent the last weeks crying and suffering with you as I went along the pages. Your experience echoed my own past of being bullied at school and other un-speakable soul aches.
It’s been about 20 years since the book was written. At the end of the book, you’re freshly married, expecting another child, you’re a successful businessman and have restored your relationship with your daughter… But how has the story turned out since then ?
I’m sorry to ask but I feel so attached to your journey of redemption. I loved reading about your childhood and wondered how the “older” Steve had fared with life after surviving this nightmare.
Hopefully, you’ve been blessed with success and happiness for even if I never met you personally, I KNOW that you are a good man.
The parts of the book that I looked the least forward to read ended up being my favorites and the ones that affected me the most : your life before the cult. It brought me back to those seemingly unimportant moments in one’s childhood, that may even go unnoticed by everyone else, but that create such a powerful wound in our souls that we end up living in reaction to the hurt for the rest of our days. Your book made me realize that this “wound of life” might be more universally shared than it appears on the surface. While your life circumstances were different than mine, I can’t thank you enough for giving a voice to some of my own most intimate and unacknowledged feelings. Different lives, different circumstances, and yet the same inner feelings arose. Wow. I can’t even tell you how many times I went “damn, maybe this sense of alienation from life/the world/people is more common than I thought”.
I know it’s a weird thing to say but by humanizing yourself, you’ve humanized all of us. This book is just an incredible gift.
The only question I really have is HOW, how did you find the courage to be so candid and transparent in the public eye ? Frankly, I couldn’t do it in a million years. I mean there are “levels” to “nakedness”, but this tops them all ! Lol. It’s like you’re revealing your most inner secret thoughts. It’s truly admirable. Personally, I’d never have the courage to do it. I’d be too scared that people could turn it against me and use it to affect my reputation, professional life, business, etc. That’s why I said you are a hero. And you really are. By daring to speak out like you did, you helped me embrace my own humanity.