Meditation on a Candle, Meditation on Christ

January 6th, 2021

       A candle symbolizes Christ, specifically his self-giving love and the gifts of life we receive from Him. The candle provides light and warmth as it consumes its own substance, the wax. The wax and wick work in symbiosis, in other words, form a union that sustains a flame when lit. They work in symbiosis, (though in a simpler way), like the heart and lungs work together in inion to sustain every cell of the body with nutrients. The wax and wick work in union to sustain a flame. In its own small way the candle is a reflection of the sun. In the sun there is a union between gravity and nuclear fusion for these cause the form of the sun. Nuclear fusion is ignited in the core of the sun by the immense pressure of gravity caused by the immense mass of the sun. In turn nuclear fusion expands against the gravity while consuming the mass of the sun and creates light and heat.

       So too, Jesus gives of his own substance – He merged his body and soul into perfect union and thus glorified His body so that light was exponentially more available to man. And this light is the source of never ending in-filling love. He ‘drew all things unto himself’. And, when we are regenerated, and thus have light in ourselves, we give light to each other.

    In the candle the wick, usually braided cotton, burns and produces a flame. When the wick is lit a chain of events begins. Wax, which is present on and near the wick, begins to melt. At that point, the wick absorbs the liquid wax (which has just melted) and pulls it upwards (due to capillary action). The heat of the flame vaporizes the fuel (molten wax), which in turn combines with oxygen in the air (combustion) to produce a constant flame.

     A candle uses heat to produce light. In order to do that, it makes use of a process called combustion, which is basically the burning of a substance in the presence of oxygen, and produces heat and light. Here, the fuel is wax, which is composed of complex carbon compounds. Wax burns in the presence of oxygen to produce carbon dioxide gas, which is colorless. The smoke that you see is because wax never burns in a completely clean way.

     This process in a candle is a simple example of a universal principle. The pulling-in and wicking-up, or capillary action, of the wax as fuel is an example of the universal principle that everything has its beginning from outermost parts, and these outer parts provide for and moves toward the essential inner action; meaning, in all brith and manifestation,  the external parts are first made and the internal parts are made from it. For instance, in the embryo in the womb the beginning of the arterial system is in the skin, not the heart. This may seem surprising, but it is illustrated by the similar and well-known fact that the beginnings of the woody fibres of trees are in the leaves, not the stem or the roots. Through the pith and the delicate fibres of the bark, nourishment ascends to the first tender leaves, and from these descends the first woody fibres that provide the build-up between the bark and the pith, (the leaves also provide the fibres that build the roots. Through these woody and cortical fibres sap afterwards ascends to the leaves, and new buds and leaves are formed, which in turn send down other fibres, and thus the trunk of the tree grows in concentric layers of wood – every fibre of which has descended from the leaves. In a similar way, the materials and strands of the nervous system, the beginnings of blood vessels, and the tissues of the organs are produced in the skin, and are sustained and reproduced from tissues of the skin. The process of membranes being produced in the ‘ultimates of the body, and especially from the skin’ comes from a universal principle that operates throughout life.

     A similar process took place in Jesus, though of much larger scope. The process that took place in Christ is the universal master-key for all processes. It humbles us to contemplate the magnitude of what Jesus did, but things like the candle help us to see it.  It is ultimately incomprehensible to understand Jesus’s process because he is infinite and we are finite – but that is no reason not to seek – it just means there is no end to what we can seek, and come to understand. The whole reason He was born here was to make himself accessible and known, so that He could redeem and regenerate our soul. 

      Jesus in His life on earth, day by day, moment by moment, ‘consumed’ the hereditary evil in His body. His hereditary evil was in the body only, which is of the external part of the self. His internal was divine because from the Father and thus contained no evil, but divine good and truth. Because He was born on earth, Like all humans, He had hereditary evil from His mother who was human. By ‘consumed the hereditary evil’, I mean He removed the evil out of Himself by overcoming each and every temptation that confronted Him, or that tried to seduce Him. He could be drawn in to temptation because He had hereditary evil in His body, but by addressing and overcoming each and every one – even to the last on the cross – He made his human body divine! In this process He carried the whole of humanity with Him in an internal way. Humanity had lost its connection to God by becoming almost completely external in its religion and so spiritually had atrophied. People don’t understand that this was a very real disconnect in the psyche and soul of man, a disconnect of the avenues that can bond us to heaven and God. Jesus rebuilt these avenues of connection in the psyche of mankind by doing it in himself in a body, on earth, among us; by loving all humanity, by teaching people, and by establishing the new church.

     Just as the union of the wax and wick sustain a flame that can light a room, the union of Jesus body and soul produces light and heat that sustains the whole of the universe and all mankind. Light and heat  produced from a candle brings light and warmth to people in a room. In Jesus, from the Holy marriage of His divine body and soul proceeds, as from a fountain, the Holy fire that created and sustains all of life. Unlike a candle, or anything else that exists, God is uncreated. Like a candle Jesus was born on the material earth – the divine one had to overcome the inertia of this world, and He did. Jesus made His body divine in the resurrection – and took it up into heaven. Jesus is in the midst of the spiritual sun above heaven from which proceeds wisdom (light) and love (heat), and these are life, the very spiritual substance of all life, and that perpetually sustains life. 






How and Why What Happens In This Life is of Total Consequence to the Afterlife: The Internal Meaning of ‘He that is unjust, let him be unjust still, and he that is holy, let him be holy still’ (Revelation)

December 25th, 2020

“And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this book: for the time is at hand. He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still. And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last”. (Revelation, 22:1-13)
The lines about the unjust remaining unjust and the holy remaining holy, refer to profound principles of the spiritual world. The love in one’s heart and the beliefs we live by form the end state of our soul when we die. What this love is when we die, it will continue to be in the spiritual world. The form of our soul is determined by the concordance between our external self and internal self during our life on earth. The greater the harmony between the two, the more sincere, genuine, and loving we have been in life. For instance, a person whose face and manner reflects what is in their mind and soul is in harmony. As the Bible says of Philip, “He was a man without guile.” A deceptive internal self hides behind the external self and, if this is from hate and ill-will, the soul takes on a hellish form. Once in the spiritual world, the pattern of this concordance can no longer change. This is because in life there is constant striving (or lack of striving) for union between the natural and spiritual of every person. To the degree this union is formed during life the constellation if formed. But after death the natural/material is no more and the formation stops, and the constellation formed, then, doesn’t change, This is what is meant by the phrase in the Bible, “In the place where the tree falleth, there it shall be” (Ecclesiatstes 11:3).
This does not mean a person’s state cannot change in the spiritual world, but it can only change based on the form of the concordance. The concordance is based on the internal bond we made with the good of God, so in heavenly light we grow and flourish to the degree the pattern of the concordance is receptive to it; and this pattern is unique with everyone. The pattern of concordance that forms our soul is like a seed that grows in the light of heaven if it is good; if it is bad it shrivels and rejects the light of heaven. The reason the form of the concordance can only change while we are in the world is that life in the world is part material and part spiritual, and change in form is birthed from the marriage of the material and the spiritual. The mind is part material and part spiritual also, so, by doing and thinking, by believing and loving, we manifest the form of our soul.
This is a deep intricacy of the Word, but it is significant to understand. The dynamics of the constellation seems to be illusive for people to understand. One of the biggest implications of it is that once in hell it is almost impossible to leave. A Lot of people think it is not compassionate to think this, but people who think this are isolating compassion; true compassion is always in union with wisdom. The Lord knows what He is doing, and is always does what is just. We have to trust Him. He has infinite wisdom, and we finite wisdom; and in submitting to Him and seeking Him we receive wisdom and strength.
Jesus doesn’t ‘throw’ anyone into hell. People do it to themself, by what they choose to love. In the spiritual world before anyone enters heaven or hell they go through a rigorous process called vastation (cleansing) which may be mild or very intense. (This takes place in the ‘world of spirits’ which is between heaven and hell.) The purpose of vastation is ultimately to remove everything in a person that is not in harmony with their ruling love. If they have a constellation which is ultimately capable for heaven than extraneous evils are removed from them, and visa versa. In this process the angels do everything possible, from love, to prepare the person for heaven. But the loves one has formed in their soul – freely chosen and bonded with – are the baseline of our being. We can’t just say we want something – like we want to go to heaven and do it – unless our loves are in harmony with it. There is no fooling God and the angels. God judges truly and knows us better than we know ourself.

These principles are not to be used to be self-righteous (or for merely intellectual purposes), but to inspire us to submit to God, to live a good life, to express compassion – Now. When we submit to God we are then infilled with love – we are infilled to the degree we submit. This is why humility is the source of strength, why love elevates perception – why the meek shall inherit the earth. God is always striving to bring love and wisdom into union, it’s a process, a deeply fulfilling process of inner skill.

To the degree we entertain evil we cannot receive the good of God. Evil knows, and is perpetually scheming, to separate love from wisdom. For this renders both false. This is why some, especially the left in todays world are acting so insane. They operate on blanket compassion, which is false compassion because it has separated itself from wisdom. Without the light of wisdom blanket compassion is all emotion, and one then just uses emotion to justify their agenda, which is backwards.

False compassion if persisted in always turns into rage and possibly violence. The reason is that one who does this is operating on half the equation of life, but it is innate to our soul and being to be whole which is to operate on love and wisdom in union. This is expressed in the Bible in the phrase, ‘be harmless as dove (compassion) and wise as a serpent’. So, in operating on half the equation of life a person has to expend a lot of energy denying the other half. This takes a person further and further from true self. The only way to maintain this imbalance it to keep going deeper and deeper and deeper into denial. This is why the left continually keeps going to further extremes. Everyone in hell is in chronic deep denial, and their life is about emotional justifications and artful deceptions, which become insane fantasies. They become their evil loves which is a completely inverted and insane life. For those in hell the presence of an angel causes them to burn with murderous rage and jealousy because they cannot stand to see what they have become, and they seek to abuse and destroy anyone who has good in them.

Meditation On Hate

November 19th, 2020

       When I was about seven I remember having the first experience of hating. We had recently moved back to the town of Barstow after living in LA for a year. I had a group of friends before and I was eager to connect with them, but they wouldn’t accept me as friend as before, but ridiculed and rejected me; yet in my confusion I kept going back to try. One day we were playing kickball on recess and they harassed me in front of the others during the game. At one point I was coming around second to third and one guy tackled me and the other was trying to sit on my face to humiliate. The bell rang and they were made to stop and I ran after the main guy and did not hit him but screamed in his ear for retaliation – and did it with hate. I remember feeling that I had crossed a line, for I had never felt hate with the desire to hurt another like that before. In doing this there was a certain loss of innocence. In a way I have been trying to recover from it ever since.

       Hate repels. To turn oneself over to hate and be motivated by hate one has to turn off their conscience to some degree, which involves a rejection of love, and a closing to one’s innocence. This takes place in degrees, not completely, but it is dangerous because we must have innocence to receive God. Giving over to hate requires a lot of hype, it takes a lot of energy to perpetuate because it is not the true nature of our being but the inversion of love. We all have to wrestle with this and I think most people are not willing to turn off their conscience.

      Hate is a difficult subject to talk about; it is ugly exposed to the light of day. But it is important and therapeutic to examine it. There is another side to it to understand. 

     For instance, the color black is generally thought of as negative and evil, and white as good and heavenly, which is true, but there is a flip side to each. There is a positive meaning to black that includes a regenerative quality because it is cathartic. The negative of white is a self-righteous sense of self. Swedenborg describes the correspondence of black and white:

     “Spiritual qualities are portrayed by colors; people know this because of the rainbow and other things, and from experience. To understand, take only the case of the colors black and white. The color black absorbs all rays, scattering them around randomly, without any order; hence comes blackness. Similarly, wickedness, which is portrayed by the color black, absorbs all rays of mental light, and spreads them around inordinately, until nothing of light or white appears. The color white, however, does not take in the rays of light, but reflects them. Similarly, those who are self-righteous, placing righteousness in [good] deeds, reflect the rays of mental or inward light, and do not take them in. A similar principle applies to other colors” (Spiritual Experiences, n. 1393).

     The essential goodness of white spiritually is that it represents perceiving and feeling the truth that all good comes from God. In this perception the circuitry of the human soul operates as it is meant. If one thinks the good comes from oneself then they are taking the light for themselves, and it is not in flow, so this is self-righteousness, or pride. These people think they are the source of light. The black of hate comes from hell which constantly wants to incite pain and chaos, and this is the opposite of the good of white. White corresponds to wisdom because it is the color of light. Hate corresponds to black because it loves the shadows, it wants to hide, deceive, falsify, scatter, smother and destroy.

      The regenerative quality of black comes from penetrating into it, from overcoming its dark fearful presentation. In psychological healing we have to enter into the bad feeling and deeply feel them to see what they are about, we have to see what they are crying out for, but they appear and feel dark and scary and covered with shame and failure. For instance, when we are agitated severely by something we regress, that is, we emotionally go back to the time of pain and trauma; and so we act-out, become reactive and chaotic. In this state we often take our pain out on others and try to hurt them… But, it is very important to realize, that regression points the way to the source of the problem; if we maintain an awareness of our core self as we feel the hate or frustration (and accept the presence of the Lord as our mentor) – we can bring light into the hidden – this is the place where the problem must be recognized and healed. This is a process, but as light is brought to the core of the problem it dissolves the coals of pain and this allows new light into our whole being.

      In the Bible Jesus says: “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me”. (Mat. 10:34-37 NKJ)
This has always been a difficult saying for people to understand but it has to do with the necessity of dealing with hate that is imbedded inside. For light to enter evil must be removed. The people in the time of Jesus were imbedded in an ancient honor/shame society. It is called an agonistic society, which means to be in competition, conflict and enmity. Jesus is teaching the people that they can come out from under the smothering social definition of themselves. To do so requires recognizing the pressure they are putting on each other and on themselves. Inwardly, they are pressured into a state of ill-will, contention, suspicion, and hate. Hate is self-perpetuating, especially under the pressure of a society immersed in it.
      To come out of this knot, we have to overcome old habits, we have to see how we are both victims of it and party to it. This means confronting the internal rage and anger, which takes self examination, compassion and commitment. We have to turn from using the energy of anger and hate to hurt others to fight the source that wants to perpetuate hate. Hate contains in it a hidden condemnation of ourself for participating in it; it is always trying to hide this shame in order to perpetuate a downhill, destructive cycle. Now, It is extremely important to understand that just as it is a truth of our being that all good comes from God (and thus that we are not the good) it is also true that all evil comes from hell (and we are not the evil)! We have to extract ourself from participating in evil and then we can stop identifying as being the evil, and thus we begin to feel our innate abhorrence of evil, for this is the process of separating ourself from it (otherwise known as repentance).  
     Now we can understand transmuting the energy of rage from hurting others into fighting for our true identity; which is the fight for our very soul. I believe that this is what Jesus means when He says, “I did not come to bring peace but a sword….a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.” Fighting for our personal relationship with God also means fighting to awaken our capacity for affection, love, kindness, joy and forgiveness. For many this requires emerging from the fear of dark spirits and from the habit of defining ourselves by others’ expectations. Hating father, mother, daughter, etc. is where the battle takes place because so often in the family the members are perpetuating certain roles on the other that are not from their own thoughts but what they have been pressured into, or that have been imposed on them from outside. Feeling the energy of anger and hate forces a person to interpret the cause of the hate, and separate from it, which leads to the exposing of the source of evil. This process initiates the innate fighting spirit in our soul to know ourself, and to know God. This is transformation.
      It is worth adding that there is a certain kind of ‘righteous hate’ or anger that looks like negative hate. An example of this would be a soldier who has to kill and fight; this has the same burning passion of hate but inwardly comes from a love of country, his fellow man, or family; it comes from a love of what it is good and true. Another example would be a man or woman that is in true love and feels jealousy at a rival, for true love defends its truth and fights for it. 

Mary of Bethany, the One Who ‘Took the Better Part’, Seizes the Moment and Demonstrates Faith is the Union of Love and Belief in Action – For All Generations to Come: Understanding Her Great Story in the Bible.

November 18th, 2020

“Now when Jesus was in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper, There came unto him a woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat. But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste? For this ointment might have been sold for much, and given to the poor. When Jesus understood it, he said unto them, Why trouble ye the woman? for she hath wrought a good work upon me. For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always. For in that she hath poured this ointment on my body, she did it for my burial. Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached in the whole world, there shall also this, that this woman hath done, be told for a memorial of her” (Mat. 26: 6-13).

This encounter was a very bold move for Mary. The meeting was at the house of Simon, one of the religious leaders. The disciples and other leaders were also there. It was against costume for a woman to interrupt a meeting of men, let alone religious leaders. But Mary was on fire to seize the moment. Jesus commends what she did to a place perhaps second only to his commendation of John the baptist; He says, “Let what she has done be a memorial for all the world to hear”. Why does he give such a high commendation?

Previous to this story is the story of the resurrection of Lazarus; also, along with this there are two other times where Jesus tells the disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and be killed there (John 12: 23-24, John 12: 32-33). The disciples do not understand why he must go, and object. In the story of the resurrection of Lazarus both Martha and Mary, as much as they want Him to heal Lazarus, object when he proposes to resurrect him. Jesus has been delayed and when He finally comes, They are upset that Jesus didn’t come sooner to save him from dying. They both are deeply mourning and say, ‘If you had come he wouldn’t of died’. Jesus tells Martha, ‘I am the resurrection and the life, do you believe I can do this’. And Martha says, “Yes I believe you are the Christ, the Messiah, the son of God’. Clearly Jesus has been teaching all of them about who He is and His resurrection. Then When Jesus asks the men to move the stone in front of the tomb, Martha objects. The scripture reads: “The sister of Lazarus, who was now dead, said to Jesus, Lord, by this time he stinketh: Jesus saith unto her, “Said I not unto thee, if thou wouldst believe thou shouldst see the glory of God” (John 11: 39, 40).

There is another story previous to Mary’s anointing of Jesus that is very significant to tell. When the disciples have been sent out to heal the sick; they do so, but encounter a case where they are unable to heal a certain possessed man. Jesus admonishes them as having little faith, and says that for this kind of possession they must have greater faith.

Lord, have mercy on my son: for he is lunatic, and sore vexed: for oft times he falleth into the fire, and oft into the water. And I brought him to thy disciples, and they could not cure him. Then Jesus answered and said, O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? bring him hither to me. And Jesus rebuked the devil; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour. Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out? And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you (Mat 17: 15-20).

The reason the disciples could not heal the lunatic is that they believed Jesus to be the Messiah and the Son of God, but do not yet see that He is the divine itself. This is understandable; their learning follows a progression. To be able to heal the profound case of the lunatic they must catch the vision in their hearts that Jesus is God. For we come into the presence of God to the degree we can acknowledge and perceive this in Him.

Swedenborg writes: “The reason why the Lord called, the disciples men of little faith when they could not perform miracles in His name… was that the disciples did indeed believe the Lord to be the Messiah or Christ, the Son of God, and the prophet of whom it was written in the Word. They did not yet, however, believe in Him as God Omnipotent, and that Jehovah the Father was in Him; and so far as they believed Him to be a man, and not at the same time God, His Divine, to which Omnipotence belonged, could not be present with the disciples by faith. For faith causes the Lord to be present; but faith in Him, as a man only, does not cause His Divine Omnipotence to be present”. (AE 815).

The disciples had not yet got there, but Mary had caught the vision. Unlike the disciples she accepts that He must go to Jerusalem and fulfill his mission on the cross; evidenced by her determination to anoint Him before his death. She herself had no doubt been healed and loved by him previously in her life as He had done for so many others. The scripture says that she is a sinner, and much like the woman at the well, or the condemned prostitute that the people want to stone, He had given her the most powerful experience of love and forgiveness of her life. Of this episode Swedenborg writes: “Jesus said to the woman who was a sinner, and who made his feet wet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and kissed his feet, which she also anointed with oil, Thy sins are remitted thee; thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace” (Luke 7: 38, 48, 50). From these words also it is evident, that faith in the Lord’s Omnipotence healed them, and also that the same faith remitted, that is, removed, their sins. The reason was that the woman not only had faith in the Lord’s Divine Omnipotence, but also loved Him; for she kissed His feet…it is evident therefore that faith from love saves” (AE, 815).

Mary of Bethany is also the one that sat with Jesus while her sister was fussing about preparing the house and the meal. When Martha objects Jesus says of Mary that she has ‘chosen the better part’. This means she sat with the Lord Jesus and meditated on His teachings in a special way.

So Mary is on fire with both love and awareness, for these two together increase each other in passion. She defies all custom, seizes the moment, and full of reverence washes His feet with her tears, and anoints his head with precious spikenard oil. Those around are indignant at her actions, but she cares not. Jesus protects her. She is the first to fully see his divine, and she owns it; this is why Jesus memorializes her action for all time. She had the vision of love and awareness, and she married them in her soul by taking action. This is the practice of the union of love and truth in our lives. We continually do this, or miss doing this, every day of our lives. To miss it does not mean we are lost or condemned, but that we will have another chance the next time, as we learn from successes and failures.

Meditation on Loneliness: Why It’s difficult, and Why It’s Essential, Staying Behind the 8 Ball

September 30th, 2020

Loneliness is a pain in our heart; it is very difficult to deal with. Partly at least because circumstance seems to validate the feeling. But there is much within loneliness that is essential to our growth.  Contained in the pain of loneliness is yearning. If we are overwhelmed by the pain and circumstance loneliness crashes over the yearning and can become despair, disconnect and depression. I think of loneliness as staying behind the 8 ball. Keeping the 8 ball in our perception which means to feel the pain but not let it crush us. From here we can meditate into and discern what it is about.

Yearning is a very spiritual feeling. Loneliness is on a continuum from  yearning all the way to despair. Yearning seeks direction, affection and connection but it takes focus to discern what it is about. What we call Loneliness, on the continuum, has given into hopelessness; it is like white light or the snow on a TV where we can’t see our way. But if one looks into white light we find it has a whole rainbow of colors as when it is passed through a prism. Each color has a meaning. The white snow on a TV is buzzy like anxiety. We have to take our eyes off of the circumstances and move back to our heart, and listen to the feelings of yearning and they will begin to tell us what they are about. In yearning there are rich seedlings of love and hope, the beginning of manifesting meaningful connections within and without.

    We may be yearning for a meaningful relationship, for intimacy, for affection, for sex. In examining these we can’t always trust what we feel and must discern their origin and intent. There are often old, outdated strategies that we picked up in our need to survive that have dysfunctional ways; and underneath these is our core self that can be trusted. All of these parts are not to be dismissed but taken care of and restored, like a parent with a child, by the core self. They all have needs and demands, but are relatively un-resourced but can be taught and nurtured to serve a better purpose. In yearning all these things can be recognized and brought to light, but it is a process of trial and error. We cannot have outwardly what we are looking for immediately which is most pronounced in relationships and sex, but in the yearning there is awareness and direction.

   Nevertheless, there is no resolving the causes of loneliness unless we come into a deep awareness of our core self. In our core self we can receive the affection and acknowledgement that we yearn for and that nothing else can give us like we can. We have to take this action for our self. The great leap is to see that the core self is directly connected to God. In this acknowledgement we receive the compassion and sense of being seen that we have always yearned for, that others did not give us. Often parents, or others fail to see us, and actually pass the pain they cannot deal with into us. It is essential to realize that this core relationship is received by understanding that God as the divine human. One cannot have a relationship with a cloud, or an amorphous supreme being, but we can with the divine human who sees us all the way through. He called himself our Father, Mother, Friend, Hero and Comforter. These are all very personal and immediate.

The funny thing in dealing with loneliness/yearning is that the more one becomes aware and open the more our body also becomes sensitive and aware; this is a good thing, but it awakens the yearning and desire for intimacy, connection, touch and sex to be more acute. This is part of awakening our capacity for joy and being vulnerable. I think it is also part of God’s process for moving us out of comfort zones when we get too settled so to keep us growing. It’s a sort of test but the core self brings us back to what is really true for us. We keep getting better at the whole process and come to know who we are; we come to know what we want and what we don’t, what works and what doesn’t and what is morally and spiritually in keeping in being right with God. So, in letting the stuff go that doesn’t work we become more content.

Staying behind the 8 ball means we feel and discern the cause of our yearning. Perception by nature keeps the cause of pain in our sight so to speak as opposed to crashing in a wave of emotion (but all things are our teacher by trail and error). In yearning there is something God has for us to learn and do. The yearning often cannot be outwardly fulfilled, but it is fulfilling in itself to feel and understand what it is about. In submitting the yearning to our core self for care there is spiritual, mental and even physical satisfaction in our body, mind and soul. The core self takes care of our whole self; it removes false expectations and other people’s thoughts that muck up our thinking and separate us from our self. The core self is tethered directly to the Lord. 

“A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.” John 16:32



The Bond: Meditation on the Process that Takes Place in Life and Death – That Leads to Heaven or Hell

September 1st, 2020

As long as we are in this earthly world and have some cognitive ability we can change; anyone can be reformed. Change is a process, it doesn’t happen instantly. It is a birthing that takes place between the natural and the spiritual. The desire or love to change needs to overcome the inertia or resistance of the body and minds habits. The birthing takes place likes this between the union of the body and soul, the external and internal, one’s love and wisdom. Throughout our life we are forming a constellation between these in our soul, which is most readily seen between our external and internal self. As long as potential change is only in the mind or desire it has not yet reached fruition and can dissipate; it comes into fruition when it is moves into action, and then a bond is formed between our internal and external self. This process of bonding with our internal core (wherein God is) takes place throughout life and forms the constellation. An example of this is how our loves and beliefs shine through our face naturally when we speak; on the opposite end in this world we can feel something devious and harmful inside and show kindness on the outside. In the first there is harmony, and the second dis-harmony; the one is heavenly and the other hellish.

Now it is very significant to understand that at death the constellation formed is set, it does not change because we are no longer in the natural world. This is the meaning of the verse in the Bible, “Where the tree falleth, so it lays’. The constellation is now like a seed that is exposed to the light in the spiritual world. The constellation itself cannot change at this point because there is no longer any birthing between the soul the natural world – that process is over. Now it will grow according the nature of the loves formed in its constellation. When it comes to union evil is always trying to separate our love from wisdom which turns them to falsity and hate and all the negative emotions and cunning that comes with it. But heaven is always striving to bring union between our loves and our beliefs or faith.

So if the nature of ones constellation is primarily heavenly that in us which is not in harmony with heaven will be removed and forgotten. We are brought into wholeness with our ruling love. If the constellation is primarily hellish then evil loves remain and the heavenly ones will be removed.

It is up to us to form the heavenly bond during our life here on earth. There is no hiding in the spiritual world like there is here. We are seen, completely, angels see all the way through us and desire nothing more than to love us and prepare us for heaven, but if our soul is not prepared we will reject them. If our soul is heavenly then we will love being fully and completely seen as if for the first time. There will still be many challenges and points of growth, but in general we increase in happiness for eternity. It is also an extraordinary thing about heaven that all of our negative memories and fears and experiences will be released and no longer distress our mind (they are still there but the attachment is truthfully purged), but instead we look and grow upward on onward into an ever more particular and exciting love of life for eternity. This is what it means that ‘all of our tears will be wiped away’.

Innocence Never Goes Away: The Meaning and Consequences of the Principle ‘You Are Either For Or Against Me’

June 29th, 2020


The Lord said ‘you are either for me or against me’. Our relationship with Him is reciprocal. People have to inwardly choose of their own will to make themself vulnerable and open to receiving God, and some are not willing. People know how to look good on the outside sometimes, while shut down, closed, or have ill-will on the inside. Entertaining evil, Chronic pride and denial eventually closes the internals of a person. Swedenborg says people can refuse God to the point their internals become closed, and such a person can not receive heaven.

Choosing to not accept God is at the same time actively rejecting God at some point, which is another way of saying we are ‘either for or against God’. No one can presume to be neutral to God. Acknowledging God makes him present, by denying Him we, at some point, lose the presence and protection of his angels (to the degree we reject) because reception is reciprocal, that is, God receives us to the degree we reach and open to Him from our will (for he is always turned to us). On earth people have an internal and external self and we can hide in the external. We can ‘put on a face’ with our body and do good and moral things for the sake of business and appearance, while being selfish and entertain evil inside. Remains (innocence stored in our soul) are always there, but become dormant and closed when we chronically reject God. As long as we are on earth, as I understand it, it is possible to reform, although it requires cognition to willingly submit to him, so it often becomes more difficult as we get old because of habit, fixation and loss of cognition.

Once in the spiritual world a person cannot change the basic constellation that has formed in their soul. The constellation is determined by the degree of correspondence between our internal and external self at the time of death. The more they are in harmony the more heavenly, the less in harmony the more hellish. The constellation then is like a seed from which we grow. The constellation itself can’t change anymore because we no longer have the material component of our body from which it was formed in conjunction with the soul. In the spiritual world we only have the spiritual body. The spiritual body has refined abilities that are many times greater than the physical body. If the constellation is receptive to heavenly light it grows and increases in joy for eternity. If not it is in a hell according to its types of evil loves.

In truth there is great pain in rejecting God, and this is because of the presence of remains. The remains are urging us to not be hard hearted but to receive him. Remains soften our heart so we become humbled and see and cry out to God. Those who persist in rejecting him have to keep doubling down over and over to stifle the pain from the presence of remains until the remains are silenced, and closed. But they never go away.

The Stink Smelt Around the World: Biden and the Democrats, Their Ideological Racism Revealed to the World.

May 23rd, 2020


Biden was already done, but now he is worse than done. What a pathetic politician; it’s sad to see really, but he did it to himself. Wasted all his brains with Epstein types, and with corrupt leaders like Obama. Obama is his idol. Biden forgot what it means to be a leader that serves the people if he ever knew. Obama tired to incite division in America for political gain. For Biden that’s ‘normal’ (but it’s evil). They thought they got away with murder, but they thought wrong. The Democrat people and party know Biden’s worthless, but they will keep defending the undefendable – because they have nothing. Their worst nightmare has come to be – their ideological induced, rampant racism has just bore its ugly ass for all the world to see. The people and races for the most part don’t buy the democrat definition of racism. The people have grown way past their deceptive story, but they don’t get it; they don’t see the world has passed them by. No matter how much CNN and the media try to paint lies about racism and Trump it doesn’t stick or resonate with the real people. For the most part the people in America have grown together, to accept each other and understand each other. Biden and the dems – the stink smelt around the world.

How It Is that Scripture and Life Show that All Angels Are Former Humans

May 16th, 2020

I don’t believe God is alone. He has all creation. He has all the time in the world to be present to the one as much as the all. He has no needs but one – to be of use, thus he made all creation.

In Hebrews 7:16: “Jesus became a priest, not by meeting the physical requirement of belonging to the tribe of Levi, but by the power of a life that cannot be destroyed.

Only Jesus has the power of ‘a life that cannot be destroyed’. This means that He is the source of life, and only He has intrinsic life. Only He is uncreated from the beginning. All others that exist, including humans and angels are receptacles of Life. As I have said before our soul, and the soul of angles, are receptacles of life and the Lord is the source.
The scripture above also means that it is an immutable fact that what comes from the divine will will come true.
We have often heard the phrase, “There is none good but God’. Most Christians say this, and it is absolutely true. None is to be worshiped but God because He is all good, the source of life. Only He is uncreated from the beginning. All others are, including angels, are tainted with hereditary evil. Only God is worthy to be worshiped
In Revelation John kneels and tries to worship the angel that shows him the Holy City, and the angel tells John, “Stand, Do not do that, you and I are brethren, only God is to be worshiped”. He says this because people and angels are in the same position and relation to God; both are equally in a position of humility to the Lord. There is no ratio between the wisdom of God and that of humans or angels. It is a structural and immutable truth that all good comes from God. Humans have hereditary evil from head to toe, and angels still have hereditary evils but they are ‘dormant’ in the perimeter of their being. The Lord can activate them at anytime for the sake of a lesson. Only the divine human is without any hereditary evil. Jesus entirely removed it from his human body in the Glorification and Resurrection, which was the ultimate birthing.

Everything alive that exists is born by the birth process. It is a universal principle that life arises from the union of the natural and the spiritual. Everything in the natural world and spiritual world come about by process. We see from science that a tree, a chemical reaction, the growth of a child, anything you can think of involves a gradual process. It is the same thing in the spiritual world. All growth, fulfillment and the expression of love is through process. This is a manifestation of God’s (mind bending) universal principle that ‘God follows His own laws of divine order’. Nothing is made by magic out of nothing – there has to be a natural foundation for anything to exist and to have come from. The master example of this that should end all doubt is that God himself was birthed on earth. Are angels greater than God that they should not be birthed? Mary said to the angel, “How will this take place, since I have not had intercourse?” The angel replied, said to her, “The Holy Spirit will descend upon you, and the power of the Highest will cover you; therefore the Holy One that is born from you will be called the Son of God.” This scripture shows that the birth process is a universal process. We’re all made “in His image”; this statement includes all the processes that go with being human – the birthing, consciousness, freedom, becoming, death and regeneration. God is the original human, thus the human form and all its processes are universal processes; only, the Lord is infinite and uncreated; all humans and angels are finite and birthed.
To become angles, which basically means to enter heaven, there is a spiritual birthing. To be ‘born again’ is a process of regenerating our soul. From birth we have hereditary evil from head to toe and we have to overcome it and remove enough to be receptive to heaven. We have to be prepared for heaven by a cleansing. Our ultimate spiritual birthing is to become angels in heaven. That is God’s desire for this from creation.

Because Heaven arises from the human race, and heaven is a dwelling with the Lord to eternity, we can see that the very end purpose of creation is for all born to be in heaven. Everyone must go through the whole process, but not all make it. All angels and demons too are former humans.
Having said this I don’t think there is any harm in Believing God created angels. I have many clients who think this and I see no good in changing it; it is part of their faith. For those motivated to be seekers, I think the above is particular to the truth. There is a literal and an internal sense to the Word. The literal can easily be misconstrued if one doesn’t consider the internal. Above I am speaking of the internal sense. For instance the word ‘midwife’ in the Word doesn’t just refer to a woman that helps with birth but it refers to the universal process by which all things, including angels are born by the birth process between the natural and the physical.

In addition small children who die go to heaven and grow there to become angels. The reason is is that children have not yet formed a conscience that discerns between good and evil, and thereby they all can be taught to receive heaven, and eventually become angels.

‘There is none good but God’: The Challenge of Understanding and Living This Saying of Jesus

April 27th, 2020

‘There is none good but God’. This is a hard saying for many people. I remember I used to not get what it meant, or how it worked, so I couldn’t really accept it. But now I can feel and sense the truth of it in my soul. It is a very good spiritual place to be. 

The world of course wants us to think the opposite, that we deserve all credit, and good comes from us. It is good and natural to give credit to others for good things done. This is a good and generous thing to do in that we want and need to know we are connected and useful in a good way to each other, but inwardly there is another level. This comes into play in our relationship with the Lord. We receive the desire to do good from Him, even perception itself is a reception from God. And instantly in this inward acknowledgement, there is an inflow of love and creative energy that magnifies our soul. (Like when the pregnant Mary met the pregnant Elizabeth and their body and souls in-flowed with love, joy and awareness). 

But it is important to describe this from practical experience so one gets a tangible understanding and feel for it.

      I work as a chaplain, and I work with doctors, nurses and CNA’s. There are times when people think we have all the answers. Because we have these positions people sometimes project on us their idea of what we do, whether it be good or bad. As chaplain people will sometimes think I have powers and abilities I don’t have. As an extreme example a couple of times, after saying a prayer, Catholic women took my hand and kissed it. This is from Catholic tradition, but really it’s an act of worship that only the Lord is worthy of. Now we can respond to this by taking the adulation or we can sense inside that that is not meant for me but the Lord. It felt strange and abhorrent to me to think it was for me. I think they did it in innocence, and for their sake I think its fine to accept because it is according to their faith, but I see it as being for God. 

In helping others we can guide, inform, empathize and listen, but the real answer has to come between them and God. This is what brings healing and transformation; there has to be a humbling to God. As people we can learn to trust, know and love each other and this serves as an agent of change and transformation, but there is a inner place in our core where God is there for everyone. He is the source and it is by his providence that transformation takes place. Only He knows our whole heart more than we do ourself, and he knows what is needed. It is a great privilege to be used by Him; He is the inner teacher.

    One develops a sense of radar where people are attributing something to oneself or others that actually belongs to God.

      All humans have hereditary evil and what comes from humans is at least potentially tainted with evil. What comes from God is only and truly good; it can always be trusted. When religion compels people to belief – it is not of God. One has to come to believe from within. Change has to come from the reciprocal relationship between one self and God. This is also greatly brought to light by those who seek answers from spirits or the spiritual in any way. In beseeching from the spiritual we should seek from God alone, not any angel or spirit. God is a divine human and we can seek, and we can know Him intimately as a Father, Mother, Friend, hero. That He is the divine human makes Him directly accessible. 

    It is nevertheless a challenge to actually accept and do this in life. I notice in examining my own pain, that a lot of the pain comes from other people. This often happens with people who are close to us, like our parents, family, partners etc. When they can’t face their own pain and problems, to cope they knowingly or not hide the pain, and, in doing so, cannot help but recruit others into not seeing it so that they don’t have to face it.  (Of course we can also do this to others, which is worse). I notice in myself how I took on a lot of this pain, and when it is not our own we cannot solve it, and I blame myself for it. This condition which is prevalent in most people is why the Lord said, “I come to bring division, a father will hate is his son, a mother her Daughter”.

     I bring this up because in place of it I have certain unconscious ‘salvation fantasies’, that are dissociative; they serve a purpose, but also serve to interfere with, or partially take the place the real source. For instance, today I went for a long hike in the rain, it was beautiful. I hiked in Tilden park which has lots of trails and trees. Walking in the wet, cold grass reminded me of living in the Azores where it was very green and rained a lot. This memory itself was part of a salvation fantasy – to be in a place where there was focus and happiness, but it is at least somewhat illusory, it is the past and not possible to recreate. These kind of thoughts are usually half-conscience at best but I was watching them to see what there purpose is. I also noticed I was motivated to hike toward a trial I had been to before where there is an ‘idyllic’ little creek in a deep forest. (These desires are partly true because heaven is idyllic with beautiful paradises). The fantasy partially came from a story I read called ‘All Gold Canyon’ in my youth (by Jack Schaefer). In the story the Author describes a beautiful valley in a canyon that is a little paradise. In the story, a good man, who is a prospector finds a huge vein of gold in a ditch at the heart of the canyon. As he is digging a man shows up behind him who has been tracking him with a gun and demands for him to hand over the gold.

This story is an allegory for what I am expressing, in that the fantasy, to the degree it is dissociative, is tracked and used by evil, usually to a degree far more than we realize, just as in the story the robber tracked the good man to use and abuse him. You can tell the false ‘salvation fantasies’ because they are only partially satisfying. This is because they are not from the core self, and so they are the true connection to God. They are not all bad; they are often developmental. There are also very good and constructive ‘Phantasies’; these are precursors, and developmental to knowing God, and they are how we work out problems and traumas in our mind and soul. These are different than dissociative fantasies in that one leads up and another down so to speak, and any one can serve partially for both ways. For instance, in childhood we believe in Santa Clause, and this is often a precursor to exercising the ability to have faith in a not seen, but benevolent God. 

    I tell this because these ‘salvation fantasies’ are a primary interference and block to understanding how God is the source of all good. I observe in myself a constant yearning but I notice some of them never resolve. They can’t resolve because they are not mine, but from others pain. I feel vaguely in my in my mind that if I could be at these places again, or if I could be with the right person I could find happiness. The fantasy  has a pattern of despair and loneliness, partially because evil and stress seem to come (in spite or because of them). But constructive phantasy if very creative and helpful to growth and happiness.
      It is an important skill of maturity to be able to see that we can have and be both of these at the same time, and its OK. Just because I am involved in a dissociative phantasy that can be harmful does not mean that I am not dong genuine work that is a good service. This is very important to realize because evil wants us to feel that is is all or nothing. Evil wants us to feel condemned and unworthy because we participated in it or fell for it, but this is not true. This tendency to feel we are all or nothing comes from childhood where we think we are omnipotent and we go from one total extreme to another. For instance, seeing our parents at one moment as magnificently wonderful, and then the next hating them with murderous rage. In maturity we learn to discern the subtleties and integrate. 
     Now it is most important to see that an internal love of Jesus and His life is NOT a salvation fantasy (as skeptics like to describe religion) but it is the most real, completely trustworthy thing in all of life. Salvation and goodness does come from him in every particular way; when everything else comes under this Canopy they take on a new light. The misplaced burden on other things to save us and make us happy falls away. Our projects, love of nature, relationships become renewed in this correct order; and some things may leave our life. 
Here are scriptures that speak to these truths:
“Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, “But Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me'”. Jesus teaches his disciples here and other places not to compare their lives and destiny with others, or to try to out do others. Our inner life is between us and Him and He has the best possible plan for it, and it all fits in with others, but it is not for us to know others plan. The gifts He has given us are sufficient, and the best possible treasure.

There is a very Endearing story about worship in Revelation. John kneels and tries to worship the angel that shows him the Holy City, and the angel tells John, “Stand, Do not do that”. He says this because people and angels are in the same position and relation to God; both are equally in a position of humility to the Lord – only the Lord is to be worshiped, not angels or anything else. There is no ratio between the wisdom of God and that of humans or angels. Humans and angles are receptacles of life, and God is the source of life so it is a structural and immutable truth that all good comes from God. Humans have hereditary evil from head to toe, and angels still have hereditary evils but they are ‘dormant’ in the perimeter of their being. The Lord can activate them at anytime for the sake of a lesson. Only The divine human is without any hereditary evil. Jesus entirely removed it from his human body in the Glorification and Resurrection.

Jesus never called Mary mother, but he addresses her as woman. When she tells him the wedding is out of wine, and instructs the servants about preparing water for Jesus, He says to her, ‘What have you to do with me Woman?” This sounds offensive but there is a very good reason for it. Essential to the process of the glorification Jesus had to remove all hereditary evil He had in His body (from Mary, as all humans have from their mother and father). Jesus had a divine father, so the hereditary evil was only in his body. He did not identity with this in His body, so he allowed no familial presumption. This of course doesn’t mean He didn’t love; He loved her dearly as he does all people (but he is not a ‘respecter of persons’ even his mother). His mission was to remove all the hereditary evil so he could resurrect. This is also a lesson for our human process of regeneration. We seek our identity with the Lord before that with our family.